Crack with a Side of Fluff
by A.New.Tomorrow
Summary: Because torturing Code Geass characters by writing crack-fics about them it utterly hysterical. "Suzakuuuuu. Why aren't you calling me Lulu? It is SO much cuter than Lelouch ." / AU, mostly Suzaku x Lelouch


**Title:** Crack with a Side of Fluff

**Chapter I:** Adventures in OOC Madness

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Code Geass. Although, ever since I have watched Code Geass, I have been writing in my letters to Santa that I wanted my own Lancelot (yeah, I'm weird like that).

**Warning:** AU most definitely, fluff and lots of it, OOC (can't have an AU without it), although I will try my best to do IC.

Rated T, just to be sure of the (possible) future-fluff that might be a teeny-bit pervy xD

**Pairing: **None other than Suzalulu.

_**Ant**: I know I should be working on APAHK, but I just had to ;) This came to mind when I was thinking about what to write for my first chappie, easy ain't it?_

* * *

Pet Names

"Suzaku~!" Lelouch yelled out gleefully for the whole Ashford Academy to hear.

The Japanese boy looked up from the book he was reading and readjusted his glasses. But it didn't matter to him whether or not he was wearing glasses anymore, because he could clearly tell that Lelouch was running towards him as if it were one of those cliché romantic moments in the movies where the two lovers were slowly running towards each other on a bed of flowers. Typical Lelouch.

_Aw… I just wanna glomp him! _Suzaku coughed into his fist and gently removed his glasses from his face, pushing them into his pocket. "What is it _now_ Lelouch?"

Lelouch stopped and sat beside Suzaku on the bench. A pout appeared on the raven's face and said disappointedly, "Suzakuuuuu. Why aren't you calling me Lulu? It is SO much_ cuter_ than _Lelouch_~."

"Because it is unnecessary to call you such a thing," Suzaku responded coldly. "Your legal name is Lelouch, so that is what I will call you."

But, oh how much he wanted to call the Britannian prince the cute pet name. But, oh how much his reputation meant to him as well. Suzaku wanted to call Lelouch Lulu, Lulu-poo, My Sweet Sugar Baby, Snooki Pie, Cinnamon Bun-Bun, and many other embarrassing titles that Lelouch would gladly accept, with open arms, no less. Suzaku wanted to hug the older boy, he wanted to kiss him, and he wanted to do _so_ many things to the innocent little Britannian. But alas, he cannot, for his reputation will be lowered, and lowered, and lowered… And his father would kill him if he wasn't at the top of the school. Just imagine, the son of Prime Minister Kururugi calling his boyfriend Honey Bear in front of _everyone_.

"Aw, c'mon~ Pwetty pwease with sugar on top~?" Lelouch wrapped his arms around Suzaku's stiff arm. Wide amethyst eyes stared into emerald ones. Students who were just "happening" to pass by giggled behind their textbooks.

_Don't give me the adorable stare_.

Stare…

_I'm about to die from cuteness-overload here!_

Stare…

_Starting…to…lose…control… (twitch)_

"Suza-poo~" Lelouch whispered quietly. "Please? You used to call me that when we were pillow-fighting and watching movies on the bed together~."

Le gasp.

As if you hadn't noticed already, students attending Ashford Academy have quite the dirty minds. And it's all thanks to Milly's mind-tainting methods. The poison had also affected Suzaku's thinking, and he found a bunch of things that made Lelouch's sentence sound so…wrong. Suzaku twisted his head around desperately, trying to find any hope in such a situation. He was the smartest guy in school, captain of the chess club, and was also the most prideful. Nothing came to mind. All that came was a blush.

He felt like such an epic fail.

An epic, EPIC fail.

The Lancelot pilot threw his free arm in the air, admitting defeat. "Fine, goddammit! I'll call you Lulu, Lulu-Love, Suzy's Beddie Buddy, anything! Just stop staring at me with those freaking cute eyes!"

Le gasp number two.

Lelouch just giggled. "Now that wasn't hard, was it Suza-poo~?"

Gah. Defeat once more.

Suzaku had firmly believed that it was _really_ unfair that Lelouch got anything he wanted, just by giving him the "doncha-wish-ur-smile-wuz-as-cute-as-mine" look. And sadly, it worked every single freaking time. It wasn't Suzaku's fault at all, for all the blame could be directed to the prince-in-hiding. And yet the brunette constantly reminds himself that it's all his fault for giving in, all the time. And for thinking of…stuff (A.K.A. Milly-derived perverted things).

Stupid Milly for making him read those BL novels.

* * *

The Chase of Love

It was dark.

It was cramped.

It smelled like a toilet.

But he could live with it, as long as his clingy boyfriend doesn't find him hiding in the Janitor's closet.

Suzaku knew better than to relax. Actually, he did the opposite. His whole body was stiff and shaking. He was holding onto a damp mop (that smelled like pee) so tight, his knuckles were completely white. If he was strong or athletic in anyway, he wouldn't have this problem of sitting on the wet floor and just waiting for a rusty bucket (probably caked in who-knows-what) to fall from the shelf and plummet towards Suzaku's unnoticing head.

The announcement bells rang loud and clear.

"Hello all of Ashford Academy!" Milly's voice rang through the intercom. "This is your Student Council President, Milly Ashford."

_No duh, you're Milly Ashford. Who wouldn't recognize that hellish voice of yours?_

"I have a special announcement! If any club spots and nabs Suzaku Kururugi…"

_Oh god no. No way, NO WAY!_

"…then your club will receive free lunches for the rest of the quarter! And now—"

There was a bunch of static before another voice began to speak into the microphone. "Suza-poo~! Where are you? I want to show my undying love to you already! It's been five minutes since we hugged and had a steamy make-out session! So hurry up and show yourself~!" Lelouch let out an adorable giggle before closing the intercom.

"I'm going to _kill_ that bastard," Suzaku muttered quietly, with a tone covered with murderous intent.

Yeah, murderous intent and a red-hot face.

Doesn't that sound so convincing?

Suzaku buried himself farther into the Janitor's closet, farther into the gunk and mess that no one ever sees in the anime. I mean, there has to be a gross spot somewhere, right? The brunette tried to breathe in, but what he got was a disgusting substance coating his tongue. Suzaku swatted away a spider that hung on a silvery web not for from him. But after that, he was kind of scared that there might be an army of spiders that are out to get him now because he might of killed its leader.

Wow, the closet fumes are _really_ getting to his head.

"Don't find me, don't find me," Suzaku said over and over again as he rested his head on his knees. "Don't find me, don't find me…"

He heard movement outside. Thumps and blocked out voices could be heard from outside of the closet.

Oh god.

The door slammed open, and standing by the doorway was none other than…the janitor?

Yes, there he was, wearing his blue uniform that everybody sees him wearing everyday. He had to, because he was the janitor. A furry gray caterpillar called a mustache ran across the skin under his nose, in which nose hairs probably contributed to the facial hair and a cap using the same material as his uniform covered the top of his black head.

"Oh, thank god it's you, Mervin. I thought I was a gonner," Suzaku breathed out. His heart slowed down to its regular pace. He stopped, and the entire world seemed to go still when the janitor closed the closet door.

_Click_. And locked it.

Wait a minute, the janitor was like a century old.

Why does he suddenly have black hair?

"Didn't think you could hide from my love, could you Suza-poo," an evil and malicious voice growled from under the caterpillar-mustache. The janitor removed his hat and mustache to reveal Suzaku-hungry amethyst eyes and a smile that almost reached ear to ear. Lelouch pushed away brooms and things away from his path towards his prize. He got down on his knees, and crawled to the shaking brunette.

"Um…uh…Lelouch…" Suzaku was out of words. "Wh-What are y-you d-doing?"

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

Lolitas and Bunnies

It was the crossdressing festival.

The girls never minded, but the guys despise it with all of their manliness.

Which included a certain Suzaku Kururugi.

"I gotta hand it to ya, Suzaku," Rivalz said with a chuckle.

"Don't say it," Suzaku growled threateningly.

"That bunny suit really highlights your rear." Rivalz laughed out loud before falling to the ground.

And indeed it did. The brunette wore a body-hugging blue bunny suit, complete with an uberly fluffy white ball for his tail wagging leisurely on his butt, satin bunny ears that matched the suit's fabric, white leggings and gloves, and black high heels.

Milly's Crossdressing Tip #1- High heels are essential.

"At least I don't look like a skanky devil who just got out of bed this morning."

I guess that was a pretty good way of describing Rivalz. He wore a short, red dress with knee-high platform shoes and two devil horns stuck out of his disheveled head.

"At least _I_ don't have to put on makeup." And the blue-haired devil stuck his tongue out.

That was completely true, since Milly wasn't satisfied with Suzaku wearing the bunny suit. Oh no. She, quote, 'was commanded by God' to make Suzaku, scratch that, _bully_ Suzaku into wearing mascara and lipstick.

Milly's Crossdressing Tip #2- Never EVER forget the lipstick.

And oh how much the Lancelot pilot wanted to cut Rivalz' tongue off.

Preferably with a very sharp knife, or a chainsaw. A chainsaw would be much, much better.

Sigh. Suzaku turned around and stared at himself in the mirror. Even though it pained him to think this, he actually thought he looked pretty good. The suit was padded, so I looked like the brunette actually had natural boobs, unlike Rivalz. Right before the Britannian boy changed, he stuffed a few pillows down his shirt to emphasize his 'assets'. Suzaku thought it was unnecessary, but Rivalz was already entranced by how awesome Milly looked in Suzaku's pilot uniform. Suzaku's skin-tight uniform.

Shivers ran down Suzaku's spin upon thinking about when he was going to have to wear that uniform again.

A knock came from the door.

"_Can we come in now?"_ Milly's voice yelled from behind the wood.

Suzaku groaned as Rivalz replied loudly, "Sure, Pres. It's safe now!"

The door was practically knocked down as the girls marched inside the room. Milly, as mentioned before, wore Suzaku's Lancelot pilot uniform and had her golden hair tied in a tight ponytail. Kallen wore a samurai outfit as well as holding a (hopefully fake) sword in her hands. Shirley wore a simple black and white suit with a suitcase in her hand and a pair of thick glasses sitting in her nose. Nina was dressed in a pirate costume, complete with an eye-patch and plastic parrot sitting atop her shoulder.

But what astounded, as well as terrified, Suzaku the most was the person who last entered the room.

Lelouch.

He—but looked very much like a she—wore a well-made Lolita dress, covered in lace and ribbons and silk, and even little Hello Kitty heads patterned across the black cloth. Actually, that's what the dress was based on: Hello Kitty. The small hat that rested on Lelouch's head had a large jeweled Hello Kitty attached to the black silk, and two long pink ribbons spiraled off the side. And of course, the raven just _had_ to wear black and stylish boots that climbed up his legs with two more jeweled Hello Kitty's on the side.

Suzaku couldn't help but stare at how short the dress was.

And how long and slender Lelouch's legs were.

Suzaku had to tip his head upwards and tried to hold back a nosebleed.

Milly's Crossdressing Tip #3: Nosebleeds. That's your goal.

"So," Lelouch said with a giggle in her—excuse me, I mean "his"—voice, "Do I look cute or what?"

* * *

**A/N: **I think that Lelouch was WAY more OOC than Suzaku. It's easier to make Lelouch more OOC because his personality pretty much was the same throughout the anime. And Suzaku, in my opinion he changed from sweet and teddy bear to serious and why-doncha-crack-a-smile-for-once. So, bleh. I kept squeeing every time I wrote Lulu's part! I know the last one was short, but Lelouch in a Lolita dress was crackish enough. I was about to die.

Lulu: Yup~Anty was twitching every time she read over that paragraph!

Important Note: Lelouch vi Britannia was sent to the hospital due to drug overdose.

Ant: Uh… Just ignore that, won't you?

I know the quality isn't very good since I did this story in like, I don't know, 5 minutes? That's what I get for having silly ideas. I wonder if I should continue…

If u lieked it, can I haz review pls?


End file.
